Time to Reflect…

I’ve said it before but I find Autumn a funny time of year…

From a business point of view there always seems to be this gap between the end of summer and the start of Christmas.  A quiet time when we plan to do all the stuff that gets pushed to one side the rest of the year, but in reality is just spent recovering!

Don’t get me wrong we’ve enjoyed the break but ‘not being busy’ is something I’m not entirely comfortable with and I’ve been giving a lot of thought as to why that might be?

Any business has it’s peaks and troughs.  You take advantage of the busy times in order to see you through the quiet ones… but sometimes you get so focused on just jumping from one job to the next that when the jobs run out you’re left feeling a bit lost and disorientated – or at least I think I do!  Can anyone else relate to this?

Before we made the decision to change our lifestyle, I had spent many years juggling a stressful full-time job with bringing up my son almost single handed.  I had become so conditioned to being on the go 24-7 that ‘being busy’ is my normal state, and any gap or pause in this never ending busyness feels a bit odd… I can’t quite resist the urge to fill the gap with something – anything!!

Deep down I know this isn’t healthy.  I’ve seen first hand the effects of stress on my health and the toll it takes really isn’t worth it… I need to slow down… I need to pause… acknowledge the gap and let it be…

Easier said than done… but I do keep practicing!

I’ve always had an interest in the workings of the human mind.  I meditate regularly – if not always successfully – and believe there is much benefit to living in the present moment.  So this past month I have been practicing just that – focusing on the enjoyment of the task in hand rather than always thinking about what’s next, or what I haven’t done yet.  I have allowed my body to rest but more importantly my mind to pause, if only for a few seconds at a time, to notice the beauty of the moment and to feel at peace.

It doesn’t last long… that niggling voice is still there at the back of my head trying to get in on the picture…  “but what about… and what if… and you haven’t done….” I acknowledge it’s there, notice my urge to listen to it and the discomfort it brings.  But this time I don’t react.  I choose to ignore it and to bring my attention back to my family, or the book I’m reading, or the colours in the trees as I’m walking my dog… and I feel happy for a little while.

It’s not easy and most days I still get caught up in the chaos of life and wonder where the time has gone but I will keep practicing and that’s enough!

Jac.x

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